


The Four Things Jake Likes

by IrishxCoffee



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: Also He's Alive So Screw Cannon Lore, Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, It's Jake So Profanity Warning, Pier's Can't Keep His Mouth Shut, Sherry Is An Awkward Duckling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-08-04 13:32:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16347638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrishxCoffee/pseuds/IrishxCoffee
Summary: Jake likes his mom, he likes music, he likes money, and he likes apples. Four things are all Jake likes.Until he meets one Sherry Birkin.





	The Four Things Jake Likes

**Author's Note:**

> So, this has a few of my headcannons in it. Especially because it's a College AU, I might make more but nothing's confirmed. Personally I think Jake is a really logical person, to the point where it looks like instinct but really it's just his brain moving at like a million miles an hour. 
> 
> If some things are kind of odd, that's for a reason since I kind of want to make more of these and those particular things would be explained in future fics. 
> 
> Any questions feel free to ask! Hope you enjoy!

Jake Muller, as much as he hates it, is a logical person. He isn’t one for PDA, or frivolous conversation. He isn’t cheerful and often expects the worst. Jake most certainly isn’t someone who enjoys making friends, being in public settings, or human company at all.

Jake likes his mom, he likes music, he likes money, and he likes apples. Four things are all Jake likes.

Until he meets one Sherry Birkin.

Jake wishes he could be charismatic and charming, but all his words come out mangled and callous regardless of his real intention. He wishes he didn't have a million back-up plans filling his head space at all times. He wishes anxiety wouldn't swirl around his head like some fucked version of a toilet bowl.

He learns to ignore those desires though, because Jake isn't the center of conversation, he isn't a happy-go-lucky, go with the flow kind of guy. Jake's the quiet anxious guy who keeps himself close to the exit at all times, and that's okay. Jake's the guy who's more comfortable with a gun than a calculator, and honestly he prefers it that way. He has better things to do than make friends with the dickweeds that fill his classes anyway.

So Jake dislikes university, he dislikes forced interactions with anyone, he dislikes the mysterious shadow-y figure that is his absentee father, and he dislikes charity. Jake has four things he dislikes.

Until he met Piers Nivans.

Jake dislikes Piers for about the same reason he likes Sherry. Piers can’t keep his mouth shut, and Sherry can’t help but listen to his endless yammering.

So when Piers mentions that Jake likes apples, Jake finds a basket of apples on his doorstep courtesy of who else but Sherry.

A day after Piers accidentally spills that Jake is in university almost completely on scholarship and barely has enough money for his tuition, he finds next week’s groceries already bought outside his door.

(The same thing happens the next week, and one after, and the one after, until he finally caught her in the act.)

But one day, Piers lets loose one secret that Jake absolutely can’t forgive.

Jake has a guitar, and sometimes he likes to write songs.

A week later, one highly intoxicated Sherry appears on Jake’s doorstep. She’s flushed and wobbly and when she looks up at him with those doe eyes Jake can’t find it in his heart to leave her out in the cold.

(He’s pretty sure she specifically didn’t bring a coat because it’s 25 °F and it's been snowing for the last two days.)

Thirty minutes finds them sitting on the couch, a respectable distance apart. Sherry’s hidden under a blanket far too large for her, and far too small for Jake babbling on and on about music. Jake’s swearing under his breath, nervously picking at his fingernails and cursing Piers for this because Jake knows he’s somehow to blame.

(And Piers is at home sneezing furiously, wondering who’s thinking about him.)

Lost in his thoughts, Jake doesn’t notice Sherry scooting closer to him until it’s too late and she’s attached to his side like a lamprey. She mutters something about him being warm, and Jake’s temperature sky rockets.

Now, Jake is no virgin. He’s had casual dalliances with the opposite sex, one night stands and committed relationships galore. But not once, has he ever come into contact with Sherry Birkin. Someone so nice and innocent, someone he can’t help but melt against.

And for Jake, who is a logical person, that is terrifying. And what does Jake, certified logical man, do when he can’t logic his way out of a situation? He gets drunk until it makes sense.

So, when Sherry Birkin -who has been pressed against him for the last hour- finally falls asleep, Jake gets up and drinks about half of a bottle of vodka. When his vision is blurry and his brain isn’t working at a million miles an hour, he sits back down.

Jake doesn’t like things that don’t make sense. He doesn’t like the way he still cares about his father’s approval despite knowing the guy is a total prick. He doesn’t like Piers because how hard is it to keep your mouth fucking closed? He doesn’t like university because everyone here is a pretentious asshole, especially Leon Kennedy. He most definitely doesn’t like interacting with humanity because it’s a waste of time and he has better things to do.

He doesn’t like that someone as kind and soft, and privileged as Sherry is leaning against him passed out drunk.

He doesn’t want to like that she’s here at all.

That’s a lot easier said than done. Her small snores are just as endearing as her small frame that somehow fits against his just right.

Jake likes that Sherry is near him, but he doesn’t know why. This frustrates him beyond reason; which leads him to downing the rest of the bottle until he too is passed out under a blanket that is too large for her, and too small for him.

He wakes up to Sherry moving later that night, at an unreasonable hour. He has just enough sense to pretend to still be asleep as she pulls out her phone and makes a call.

“ _Shhh!_ He’s asleep! You’ll wake him up!” She murmurs, words only slightly slurred.

A moment passes before she squeaks and yells quietly at the person on the other end, “No I didn’t sleep with him! Well, I mean I kind of slept on him..”

Muffled laughter comes through before Sherry squawks, “Don’t laugh! You know this is serious! God, he must think I’m a wreck!”

,

For a minute Jake muses that for someone who was concerned for his sleep a minute ago, she’s making an awful lot of noise.

Then he realizes that it must be Piers on the other side of the phone, as he’s their only mutual friend.

(Jake would rather shoot himself in the dick than call Leon Kennedy his friend.)

Irritation takes hold of Jake, and before he knows it he’s talking, "So what did Piers tell you this time?"

Jake quietly proud of himself, because he doesn't sound like a douche for once. 

Sherry spins around, looking horrified. 

“I’m so sorry! I can’t believe I let him talk me into confessing to you drunk! I’ll have him come get me and I’ll never bother you again! I won’t even look in your direction I promise! God you must think I’m such a freak!” She babbles, face redder than anything Jake has ever seen and furiously mashing buttons on her phone.

It takes a minute to process, thanks to the vodka, but Jake finally hears what Sherry said and has to rush to keep her from running outside.

“Wait wait wait, confessing? You call falling asleep on me, confessing?” The words come out wrong and Jake curses at himself.

Sherry deflates even more, “You’re right..” Just as Jake opens his mouth to say something, anything to fix this situation she steadies herself.

Taking a deep breath, the blonde turns to him, head high and shoulders rolled back. “Jake Muller, I, Sherry Birkin think that you are attractive both physically and mentally. I would like to court you if possible.” She recites, somehow confident despite her awkward, antiquated words.

Jake can’t help it. He feels awful when she looks at him like that, but really. Who asks if they can court someone anyway?

Jake hears the girl of his dreams ask him out, and he laughs in her face. Laughter that he can’t seem to stop, in fact he probably hasn’t laughed this hard in years. He wants to stop and explain himself, but god every time he tries he starts laughing again.

Finally he managed to pull himself together as Sherry looks at the ground shaking. Still shaking with little laughs, he touches her shoulder.

“You asshole!” She explodes, shoving him hard. “You absolute asshole!” Sherry looks up at him, fury dancing in her eyes. “I thought maybe everyone was wrong about you, but they're right. How could I have been so stupid?” She spits, clenching her fists.

Almost immediately Jake forces himself to sober up. He runs a hand down his face, “Shit, Sherry I didn’t mean it like that.”

She scoffs, “I don’t think there’s any other way to take it when your crush laughs at your confession.”

His heart hammers at the words crush and confession, but he refuses to act like a school girl.

“Sherry, hey, just hear me out okay?” He tried to catch her eyes, but she just keeps staring at her phone.

“Fuck,” he breathes out, taking a minute to gather his thoughts. “Look, I don’t like a lot of people-“ Her eyes roll but at least he knows she listening. “- and I mean really don’t like. But, I mean this, I can stand you.”

A harsh bark escapes her, and for a second he’s looking at a stranger.

Sherry Birkin is a privileged middle class white girl, with beautiful short blonde tresses and shining blue eyes.

Sherry Birkin is the Girl Next Door, who ends up with the guy despite all the odds because she’s just that sweet and lucky.

Sherry Birkin is so kind and wonderful that she learns what foods Jake likes to buy him groceries every week.

Sherry Birkin is not the girl in front of Jake, who looks so tired and jaded and disappointed.

“Oh you can _stand_ me. I’m so glad that my crush can _stand_ me.” She bitterly mutters, tears welling up in her eyes. Then before his eyes she squares her shoulders, takes a deep breath and the tears are gone.

She stares into Jake’s eyes, and it’s like he’s in a trance. “Well other people like me, in fact they’re my friends and they all do more than put up with me. I guess I really did fall for a prick this time, didn't I?”

Her words hit him like a punch to the gut, and Jake is scrambling to reorient himself as she's walking out the door.

“Hey! Sherry, wait stop! It’s fucking freezing out here!” He shouts, trying to reason with her.

“I’d rather walk home in the freezing cold, than be trapped in there with you!” She yells back, spite dripping from her words.

In the end of it all, Sherry makes it about halfway down his street before Jake brings her kicking and screaming back inside.

Her nose is bright red and she’s pouting in the corner, but she’s safe from hypothermia for another day. Her mood only worsens when Piers fails to answer her calls, and the temperature somehow drops even lower.

Jake sighs at the couch, wondering how this all went so wrong. “You can sleep in my bed, I’ll take the couch.” He mutters at about 2 am, getting ready for back pain in the morning.

“I’d rather sleep on the floor.” She spits, still curled up in the corner of the room, as far as she can get from him.

He can’t help but roll his eyes, “You know how childish you’re being right?” The words come out by accident, and he wants to punch himself.

Her mouth drops open and she gets to her feet, “Oh, really? I’m being childish? You just laughed in my face when I confessed to you! And now, you won’t even let me leave! And Piers isn’t answering his phone, even after he talked me into this! So excuse me, if I’m being _CHILDISH_.” She shouts, hands clenched at her sides.

Jake can’t help the annoyance bubbling in him and shoots back, “Y’know maybe guys would like you more if you didn’t overreact to everything.”

She puffs up like an angry bird and throws a pillow at him, “How dare you! Jake Muller, how DARE you! You’re awful and cruel, and I don’t know why I even liked you!”

His chest hurts and the next thing he knows he’s yelling back, “Yeah well if this is how you react to a misunderstanding, I don’t know why I liked you either!”

Sherry blinks at him for a moment, and then his brain catches up with his mouth. “God fucking damn it.” He growls under his breath, pushing his fingers in his eyes.

Sherry points to him, then to herself, then back to him, and repeats this a few times. “Y-you like me?” She murmurs, eyes widening. Jake doesn’t say anything for a while before letting loose a large sigh.

“Well, are you sleeping on the couch or not?”

They both sleep in his bed, Sherry is warm against him and Jake has never slept better. Even if in the morning she pesters him to sing her a song and play his shitty guitar for her.

So there are four things Jake likes. Jake likes fruit, specifically apples. Jake likes his mom and everything she’s done for him. Jake likes music and the way it doesn’t always need words. Jake likes money so he can repay his mother and buy her nice things.

But there is only one thing Jake truly loves, and that’s the one and only Sherry Birkin.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading!


End file.
